Here it is, just a few days before Thanksgiving.
We're on the heels of another holiday season when the year seemed to start not
all that long ago. While it's great to look ahead and know that memories will
be made and joy will be shared, there are a lot of great memories stored up in
our heads from the past. When you get older and family and friends go away, you
really do have something to be thankful for. You should be thankful for those
memories of times past, the experiences that came with them, and those that are
yet to be created.
It doesn't seem like it was long ago that we had three generations of family members gathered around the Thanksgiving table for an annual feast - make that bi-annual with Christmas - for a feast that lasted from around noon until late afternoon. Italians know how to do food, with my grandmother going the extra mile in cooking everything from pasta (ravioli and rigatoni), meatballs, sausage and braggiole to the mandatory turkey and stuffing and whatever was thrown in between. For some odd reason, the salad was always served last, just before dessert. We didn't mind. It was all good. My lovely Irish wife was familiar with Italian dinners from her two brothers-in-law's cooking, but even she was surprised at how well Grandmom stuffed us to the gills at her first dinner with us.
It doesn't seem like it was long ago that we had three generations of family members gathered around the Thanksgiving table for an annual feast - make that bi-annual with Christmas - for a feast that lasted from around noon until late afternoon. Italians know how to do food, with my grandmother going the extra mile in cooking everything from pasta (ravioli and rigatoni), meatballs, sausage and braggiole to the mandatory turkey and stuffing and whatever was thrown in between. For some odd reason, the salad was always served last, just before dessert. We didn't mind. It was all good. My lovely Irish wife was familiar with Italian dinners from her two brothers-in-law's cooking, but even she was surprised at how well Grandmom stuffed us to the gills at her first dinner with us.
Then the inevitable happened. Time started to take
its toll. Family members started dropping like... There's a better way to put
that; they started to pass-away one by one. Time slips away, and soon, almost
everyone's gone. My brother, sister, and I are the survivors of our immediate
family. Between distance with my sister living in the South and my brother
being with his wife and family, we don't see each other on the holidays.
This Thanksgiving Day, we'll be spending the day at my in-law's house with my wife's sister and her husband. My wife and I are always happy to spend good times with them and other family members and enjoy their hospitality. It's good for her in as much as we tried to split holidays each year between families, we found ourselves more with mine than hers. Now she gets some make-up time, although her family has seen many depart like mine and there's no making up for that.
Why do those things matter? Because I can sit here and think back to a time that was and remember a dinner table lined with family members who aren't here to share those holiday dinners anymore. Everyone reading this has or will experience that sense of loss. But don't think about that. Do yourselves a favor and enjoy every second of the time that you have with each other. Savor those moments. Let bygones be bygones and don't let foolish words spoken years ago rob you of any joy. And put the phones away! Declare a moratorium on devices for maybe eight hours so you don't let them rob you of the precious moments; controlling them instead of them stealing your joy. Violators' devices face the maul hammer. Make the most of it. Time is short, then its gone.
HOLIDAY MEMORIES...
...My grandfather roasting nuts in an old 1920s era gas oven in the basement of their home on 17th street. No pilot light, you turned on the gas and lit it quickly or you'd get a nice "whoosh!" from the built-up gas igniting.
...Conversation. Everyone stayed in the living room, dining room, or kitchen. No one ran to the sanctuary of their own room once the dinner plates were cleared, and if someone watched TV, we all did and still talked all day.
...Everyone showing up before noon and not leaving until evening. No rushing to dinner and out the door.
...Two things were always available to drink at my grandparents: a bottle of wine for the adults and a few quarts of Frank's Ginger Ale for the kids or adults who didn't drink much wine. We didn't guzzle the soda like kids do today. You drank it from maybe 6 or 8-ounce glasses or jelly jar glasses (remember the Flintstones glasses that Welch's sold their grape jelly in?) and made it last. My grandmother learned to save from experience during the Great Depression - right down to those jelly glasses.
...Wresting in the living room of my grandparents' house with my brother and cousin while my grandmother would yell that we were going to hurt each other. We almost never did (I remember one of us hit our heads on the marble coffee table once), but we did get to imitate our favorite wrestlers from Saturday morning TV. Never broke any furniture either.
...A full-course dinner as found in most Italian homes. Macaroni (none dare call it pasta), meatballs, sausage, and bragiole, turkey and stuffing, and then the salad (salad always came last, and always with vinegar and oil, no bottled dressing). Bread fresh from the former Lanci's Bakery on Jackson St. was always on the table.
...Along with the walnuts, chestnuts, and brazils, cheese from Cilione's (also on Jackson St) was on the table before and after dinner, along with bottles of Jacquin's Anisette and Blackberry Brandy. My grandmother would never let a holiday go by without stopping by the State Store to get bottles of both.
...My grandparent's neighbor Pete always knocking on holidays to say hello and to give my brother, sister, and I a half dollar; and we looked forward to getting those Kennedy heads, always checking to see if we got a silver one.
This Thanksgiving Day, we'll be spending the day at my in-law's house with my wife's sister and her husband. My wife and I are always happy to spend good times with them and other family members and enjoy their hospitality. It's good for her in as much as we tried to split holidays each year between families, we found ourselves more with mine than hers. Now she gets some make-up time, although her family has seen many depart like mine and there's no making up for that.
Why do those things matter? Because I can sit here and think back to a time that was and remember a dinner table lined with family members who aren't here to share those holiday dinners anymore. Everyone reading this has or will experience that sense of loss. But don't think about that. Do yourselves a favor and enjoy every second of the time that you have with each other. Savor those moments. Let bygones be bygones and don't let foolish words spoken years ago rob you of any joy. And put the phones away! Declare a moratorium on devices for maybe eight hours so you don't let them rob you of the precious moments; controlling them instead of them stealing your joy. Violators' devices face the maul hammer. Make the most of it. Time is short, then its gone.
HOLIDAY MEMORIES...
...My grandfather roasting nuts in an old 1920s era gas oven in the basement of their home on 17th street. No pilot light, you turned on the gas and lit it quickly or you'd get a nice "whoosh!" from the built-up gas igniting.
...Conversation. Everyone stayed in the living room, dining room, or kitchen. No one ran to the sanctuary of their own room once the dinner plates were cleared, and if someone watched TV, we all did and still talked all day.
...Everyone showing up before noon and not leaving until evening. No rushing to dinner and out the door.
...Two things were always available to drink at my grandparents: a bottle of wine for the adults and a few quarts of Frank's Ginger Ale for the kids or adults who didn't drink much wine. We didn't guzzle the soda like kids do today. You drank it from maybe 6 or 8-ounce glasses or jelly jar glasses (remember the Flintstones glasses that Welch's sold their grape jelly in?) and made it last. My grandmother learned to save from experience during the Great Depression - right down to those jelly glasses.
...Wresting in the living room of my grandparents' house with my brother and cousin while my grandmother would yell that we were going to hurt each other. We almost never did (I remember one of us hit our heads on the marble coffee table once), but we did get to imitate our favorite wrestlers from Saturday morning TV. Never broke any furniture either.
...A full-course dinner as found in most Italian homes. Macaroni (none dare call it pasta), meatballs, sausage, and bragiole, turkey and stuffing, and then the salad (salad always came last, and always with vinegar and oil, no bottled dressing). Bread fresh from the former Lanci's Bakery on Jackson St. was always on the table.
...Along with the walnuts, chestnuts, and brazils, cheese from Cilione's (also on Jackson St) was on the table before and after dinner, along with bottles of Jacquin's Anisette and Blackberry Brandy. My grandmother would never let a holiday go by without stopping by the State Store to get bottles of both.
...My grandparent's neighbor Pete always knocking on holidays to say hello and to give my brother, sister, and I a half dollar; and we looked forward to getting those Kennedy heads, always checking to see if we got a silver one.
2 comments:
Wow, these memories could easily have been expressed exactly from my own mind. I too remember sharing the holidays with a house full of people and bread from Lanci's and olives, lunchmeat and cheeses from Cillione's. So sad to see those staples of my youth gone now. However, my wife and I have started our own holiday tradition with her family gathering at our house every Christmas Eve. I hope my two sons will look back on these times as fondly as I remember them from my youth.
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